//This began the rise of Aperture Science.
SPRTIZ THIS SHIT ON YOUR DICK AND YOUR E HARD FOR LIFETHAT IS NOT THE INTENDED USE, SIR
SPRAY IT ON YOUR NIPPLES
U L T I M A T E N I P P L E S
T H A T I S N O T T H E I N T E N D E D U S E S I R
are the pumpkin spice lattes really worth all that gloom?
i have had too much coffee
My husband and I both have doctoral degrees; he earned one degree and I earned two. But written correspondence from friends, family, and community organizations is almost invariably addressed to “Dr. and Mrs.”
his life was totally in danger.
True story; this officer (John Pike) got a settlement of $38,000 because he said he got depressed after pepper spraying these kids. Oh, the depression wasn’t for feeling remorseful for pepper spraying a bunch of college kids peacefully protesting. He got depressed because he said since the media kept playing the video of him pepper spraying peaceful kids without cause, he got threats and didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe. I’m not making that up. This motherfucker collected nearly 40 grand on worker’s comp after assaulting a bunch of college kids.
Well somebody finally gets it!
Every school should be like mine: four hours a day, three time slots you can attend (morning at 8, afternoon at 12, evening at 5), online classes in case you miss a day, english and math direct instruction, bus stop close by, you can graduate early if you want, you can switch time slots if you need to, and they respect if you have a mental disorder/want to be addressed by a different name or by diff pronouns. You can listen to music, too, and everyone is super chill. Small classes where everyone minds their own business and gets their work done. That is how school should be.
Heres an idea!
Go to bed at a reasonable hour.
Jfc our ancestors beat up bears and dinosaurs at the crack of dawn, and you lot are whining about “SCHOOLS UNFAIR CHANGE LESSON TIMES”
Alright buddy i’m gonna need you to sit the fuck down because i’m gonna lay some shit on you. I’m sure you had a great time in high school or college since you had the nerve to tell everybody to go to bed at a reasonable time. I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it like this but maybe the reason why we don’t go to bed at a reasonable hour is because we can’t? WOW SHOCKING I KNOW.
Now I don’t know what high school was like for everyone else but for me it was fucking hell. During my senior year in high school i had over 3 hours worth of homework everyday. I get off school at 8 pm because of after school extra classes. I get home at around 9:30 and shower and it’s already 11. Well better do my homework if I want to pass this class!!! Time sure does fly when I do homework because wow it’s 3 am already. Time to finally sleep because wow humans need to sleep to have a healthy mind???? And then DING it’s 6am better wake up for school to start this routine all over again for the next 10 months. Over the span of my high school life I had over 10 emotional break downs and depression because of school. Shocking right? School can actually make some people sad and angry.
How the fuck would you feel if you were crammed in a classroom with over 40 students learning the same thing except you couldn’t understand shit so you had to study extra hard and spend more time on your homework than everyone else? Terrible right. Not everybody breezed thru school like you did.
School is different for everybody and everybody’s stress levels are different. Some schools give a fuck ton of homework while some don’t. Some people had fun in school and some didn’t. And I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it like this but some people actually work after school. Wow students making a living to support their family that’s fucking crazy I didn’t even know that was possible. And don’t even get me started on AP students.
“Jfc our ancestors beat up bears and dinosaurs at the crack of dawn,” Are you seriously comparing us to our ancestors which we had nothing to do with? WHO GIVES A SHIT. DID THEY HAVE OVER 8 HOURS OF SCHOOL? NO. DID THEY HAVE THE STRESS OF NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO FOR YOUR FUTURE? PROBABLY. BUT IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT WE WORKED HARDER THAN THEM, WE HAVE A TOUGHER LIFE, ADULTS EXPECT US TO AMOUNT TO SOMETHING BUT WILL WE? WE DON’T KNOW. WE HAVE MORE STRESS ON OUR MINDS THAN A PSYCHOPATH WITH A MENTAL DISORDER. AND YET WE’RE STILL LIVING, BREATHING AND WORKING HARD SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT GOING TO BED AT A REASONABLE HOUR BECAUSE WE FUCKING CAN’T.
HOLY SHIT THANK YOU
thank you SO MUCH //applause
ALSO DINOSAURS WERE LONG EXTINCT BEFORE HUMANS EXSISTED
We literally have an entire trilogy of movies that explain why that is a bad idea.
CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY IS THAT YOU
earlier today i was thinking about the thousands of girls who post videos on youtube reviewing makeup and talking about their fav products and making tutorials and how no girl has ever once done it just to impress men like literally that whole community exists just for girls because it’s something that so many of us enjoy and yet men still think that we wear makeup for them
Whenever a guy sleeps with lots of girls he is a “player” but whenever I do it I’m a “lesbian”
this period of the simpsons where homer is pretty clueless but still tries hard to be a good father because he does love his kids is my favourite, so many feelings
Something I really really liked about a few of the Homer/Lisa episodes in the earlier seasons of the show was how it paints a really sweet yet unconventional father/daughter relationship, basically in the way that Homer is a parental force to Lisa, so too is Lisa a parental force to Homer.
It’s really highlighted in one particular scene in the “future” episode “Lisa’s Wedding”, where Homer has a nice conversation with her just before her wedding.Homer: Little Lisa, Lisa Simpson. You know, I always felt you were the best thing my name ever got attached to. Since the time you learned to pin your own diapers, you've been smarter than me. Lisa: Oh, Dad -- Homer: No, no, let me finish. I just want you to know I've always been proud of you. You're my greatest accomplishment and you did it all yourself. You helped me understand my own wife better and taught me to be a better person, but you're also my daughter, and I don't think anybody could have had a better daughter than you-- Lisa: Dad, you're babbling. Homer: See? You're still helping me.
Newsflash: Men like to be represented just like women do. It’s harder for me to self-insert as a character if they’re female.
yes, because 4chan is SO indicative of gamers.
Please stop disparaging my past-time to further you cause.
*cracks neck* my time has come
Be nice to Frank.
the crust tho